


Demon in the sack

by Fictropes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Phone Sex, Tech Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26822857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictropes/pseuds/Fictropes
Summary: Dan’s leg jiggles beneath his desk, knee hitting the table as he tries to force himself to hang up and ring the number he was supposed to ring— he doesn’t, he can’t.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 34
Kudos: 97
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo, I still can't bring myself to write actual smut cos i feel like i will die<3
> 
> im-prompt-u challenge word: demon (LOL i take that in the.... loosest sense.)

“Hello, demon in the sack— Phil speaking. How can we make your fantasies a reality?”

“Er— I thought this was, like, the computer— Apple. The apple guys, it’s my laptop.” Dan babbles through an explantation, face red from a mixture of embarrassment and— well, whatever this Phil’s voice is doing to him. 

“Oh!” Phil laughs, “Yeah, we sort of get that a lot. It’s like a number off, or something, we should start by answering the phone like— _hello this isn’t apple, we’re here to get you off._ ”  


Dans leg jiggles beneath his desk, knee hitting the table as he tries to force himself to hang up and ring the number he was supposed to ring— he doesn’t, he can’t.

“Oh, right.” He sucks his lip between his teeth— he’s going to do this, actually going to go through with it. “I mean, I have some time.”

  
  
“Some..? Oh!” And it’s back, this delicious dip in tone that has Dan reeling. It’s been a while, more than a while. He’s been busy, book chapters coming out of his ears, grindr deleted because one night stands broke him out in hives— he was a monogamous dude. “Then I suppose i’ll ask again, how can we make your fantasies a reality, _princess_?” 

“Princess.” Dan repeats, though the difference in tone is laughable. This Phil was suave, sexy, alluring— Dan’s voice cracked halfway through the word.

“Yeah, you’re all— posh. Suits you.” And it’d usually make Dan bristle, but right now it feels like a compliment, a.. _I like it._

“Really? Suits me? Do you like them posh?” Dan asks, pushing away from his desk because he needs room to shove his hand down the front of his pyjamas. 

Phil just laughs, this deep rich thing that gives Dan a semi. “I like them eager.”

  
  
“I can be eager.” 

“Oh, yeah, I can tell. Not even told me your name yet.”

“Dan.”

  
  
“Hello, Dan.” Someone saying your name probably shouldn’t make you horny— and yet. 

“Hey, Phil. Did you know the name of this sex line is fucking awful?” Dan spins around in his chair, away from his broken MacBook and into the sound of Phil’s voice— into the way it’s making him feel. 

“I didn’t come up with it, can’t blame me.” He hears Phil doing something, sounds awfully similar to the sound of a zip being undone. “You like it enough to pay five pound a minute.”

  
  
“Fuck off, really? Five pound? That’s like— Phil, we’ve been speaking for four minutes. That’s enough to buy.. many, like, condoms for actual sex.” He still doesn’t hang up, not even when he’s twenty pound down and still in the possession of a fucked laptop.

“Daniel.” It’s low and— fuck, alright, now they’re getting somewhere. “You’re going to tell me what you want now.”

  
  
Dan swallows, nods his head even though there’s no one around to see it. “Just keep talking, please, tell me what you think I want.”  


“Are you loud, Dan? You sound like you’d be loud, this whiny little thing that can’t shutup.” Phil’s apparently got him pinned down already, been five minutes and he’s already revealed himself as this needy, moaning wreck. 

“Yeah, can’t help it.” Dan proves it, then. Thumbs the slit of his cock, lets out something pathetic that seems to knock the breath out of Phil if the sound on the other end of the phone is anything to go by.

“ _Shit._ ” 

“What?”

  
  
“Nothing.” Phil glosses over it, changes the subject from his own feelings— back onto Dan’s. “Do you have any lube?”

  
  
“No, wasn’t expecting to get though to a phone sex line. Didn’t think I needed to prepare lube for a phone call to tech support.” 

  
  
Phil snorts, dropping the act for a second. “Fair enough. Suppose I won’t get to listen to you fingering yourself, fucking your own fist will have to do— think you can do that for me?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Dan answers too quickly, embarrassed by his own desperation. “Can I hear you, too?”

  
  
“That what you want, Dan? Want me to get off to those pretty sounds you’re making?” Phil sounds halfway to wrecked, and he’s either a good actor or— well. Dan’s actually doing it for him. 

“Please.” Dan whines, spitting onto his palm. “Want you to cum with me, wanna hear you fall apart.” 

  
  
He can hear Phil fumbling with something, with a button— a tricky pair of too tight jeans. He hopes this is a work from home sort of deal, that Phil wasn’t siting dick out in an office cubicle. “Trying to steal my job?” 

“Yeah, five pound a minute sounds like a pretty sweet gig.” 

-

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Dan spills out over his fist, listening to Phil on the other end of the phone, the sound of skin on skin, how his breath hitches as he gets closer. “Come for me, Phil, wanna hear.” And he’s fallen into whiny territory, every wordcomes with an edge of begging. 

“So bossy.” And it’d be more convincing it Phil didn’t sound fucked, if it wasn’t followed by a string of curse words, a moan that belonged on a porn set. 

“Thanks.” Dan giggles after five minutes, absolutely hysterical— how had his day turned into this? “My laptop still isn’t working, but thanks!” 

“Probably could’ve gone out and got a new one, been on the phone for twenty five minutes.” Phil sounds amused— a sexy thing all of its own. 

“Feel like you owe me one motherboard, or whatever. I don't actually know what’s wrong with the fucking thing.” He uses his cum-free hand to slam at the keyboard and still— nothing. “Screen just keeps going black no matter what, on for a second and then bye bye.” 

“Wait! I— this is gonna sound weird, but is there anything magnetic around? I used to have a whiteboard thing on my desk and it turns out the magnet being close to the MacBook lid meant it thought it was shut? Like, if you shut the mac it obviously turns off, and it replicated that cos the magnets were too close.” Phil explains, sounding every bit not like the apple employee he thought he’d get through to.

“No.” Dan answers, and then— “Er- actually. I just got this little magnetic plant pot to stick important notes to, cos I always lose them. Wait there..” 

Phil waits there— five pound a minute, and all that.

“Well, shit. Thanks apple sex line.” 

-

_[Next day]_

_+441918191: Hi, this is Phil (ya that dude) and this is probably super inappropriate so don’t answer if you don't want.. but I sort of think i’m obsessed with the sound of your voice? And idk what to do about that?_  
  
Dan: I mean, I can call you back but i’m not paying you five pound a minute this time 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im-prompt-u challenge day 6 phrase: I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone D:

Dating a man who fucks people over the phone is an experience. Not an odd one, not a bad one, just— different. 

Sometimes he gets off to Phil getting other people off.

Sometimes Phil will get _him_ off whilst doing his job. He’ll have the phone against his ear, dick buried in Dan— Dan will get off to all these filthy sentences, ones that are aimed at him whilst being spoken to another. 

“Oh? Yeah? You like that? The thought of me spreading you open, eating you out until you cry, until you beg me to just fuck you? Get you all worked up and desperate, how cute.” And the sound effects aren’t quite sound effects, Phil’s a great actor, but even he has limits. It’s the real deal, Phil’s tongue in his hole—fingers when he’s preoccupied.

Dan has to be quiet for this to work, has to control his urge to moan and whine and tell Phil to just hang up the fucking phone. 

Phil has a hand on his arse— pulling. Keeping him spread, keeping him on the edge. 

Dan lets out the tiniest sound, this little huff of a thing that makes Phil pinch. It sends a jolt through his body, the pain of it— does something to him. Just makes him louder, Phil seems to catch on immediately and takes it away— all the pleasure, everything that Dan was greedy for. 

Now Dan’s just a man on his hands and knees, desperate for his boyfriend to fuck him whilst he speaks about fucking another. 

He turns his head, barely, gives Phil the big doe eyes— sometimes they work. Today they do not. Phil just shushes him, a finger to his own lips and a look in his eye that tells Dan he’d be stupid not to listen. 

“Yeah.” Phil moans, outright moans, like he’s properly getting off on this. Dan’s a jealous person by nature, something about the fact Phil is no longer touching him whilst speaking to someone else drives his brain a bit haywire. 

It must show on his face— Phil just rolls his eyes. “Stupid.” He mouths.

  
  
“Please?” Dan mouths back, hopes it’s enough— hopes reaching around and spreading himself open helps, too. 

“Fuck.” Phil’s saying it to _him_ this time. “Look so pretty—“ He seems to remember himself, corrects it. “I bet you do, so pretty. So fuckable.” 

Dan feels like he’s won the war with the man on the other end of the phone, knows Phil would call him an idiot to think it was even a war in the first place. 

Phil places the phone right at the small of Dan’s back— uses both hands to take him apart. You can barely hear the man on the other end, just this far away voice that Phil is half responding to. 

“Always such a slut for my fingers,” Phil tells him later the man is a repeat customer, it was an easy sell, “So fucking desperate for me, think you can come just from this? Think you’re enoughof a desperate little mess that you’ll be able to come without me even touching your cock at all?” Phil stills the hand currently wrapped around him— Dan bites his bottom lip to stop the whine. 

He could, maybe. If Phil crooked them just right, if he used three, if he kept speaking to him like _this._

“Well?”

_Oh_. Dan nods his head. 

“Yeah? I knew you could, you’re so good for me.” He squeezes Dan’s hip, a warning sign to stay still. Dan’s hands are back down on the bed now, screwing up the sheets as Phil teases— purposely misses _that_ spot. 

“Do you think you can be patient, for once? Let me take you apart in my own time, push you to the edge over and over again.” That line makes Dan snort— as much as it’s aimed at him, he’s also fully aware Phil is getting five pound a minute for this. 

Dan shakes his head, he can’t be patient, not tonight. Not whilst they’ve already been at this for half an hour, not when there’s a wet spot on the sheet from Dan’s neglected cock— not when he wants Phil to get this phone call over and done with so he can roll Dan over and fuck him into the mattress. 

There’s this delicious drag as Phil pulls his fingers out, adds another. “Not tonight, hm? Too desperate for it, want me to make you come so you can roll over and watch me come? Hear me get off to you.” And Phil knows him too well, knows _exactly_ what he wants just from a shake of the head. 

Phil knocks the phone off onto the bed, drapes himself over Dan’s back— just so he can mouth at his neck, leave marks that Dan will complain about in the morning, but secretly admire in the mirror. There’s something about love bites, about the feeling of Phil being possessive enough to leave evidence of his own want. 

He’s not even talking to the man at all now, speaking directly to Dan, all this filth right into his ear— just loud enough to be picked up by his phone. “You gonna come for me? Show me just what I do to you, that I don’t even have to touch you to get you off? I want to see it, want to remember it whenever i’m alone. Want to touch myself to this, want to close my eyes and see you tipping over the edge from your own fucking desperation.” 

Dan _does_ moan, can’t help it— he's only human. It only seems to spur Phil on, the slow drag turning into something else entirely, something that’s enough to make Dan collapse onto his stomach, have him begging even if it is just in his own head. 

Phil’s fingers are hitting just right every time, this heat pooling in Dan’s stomach that means it’s going to be over soon— he doesn’t want it to be over, never does, could live like this forever. The sound of Phil voice, how he knows how to push all of Dan’s buttons, how he’s forgotten about the fact he’s working and is now saying- “You’re so close aren’t you, Dan? Don’t even think about grinding your hips, I really don’t want to stop — but i’ll have to, only good boys get to come.”

  
  
There’s a distant beeping sound— a hungup phone. Dan thinks he’d have stayed on the line, welcomed the free show. 

“Close, so fucking close.” Dan babbles, repeats Phil’s name over and over and then Phil bites, properly bites— and that’s all it takes for Dan to fall apart. 

He sees stars, an entire fucking solar system. Phil continues to fuck him through it, even when he’s shaking, when he feels so sensitive he could probably cry. The wet spot is more an entire ocean now, Dan’s come sticky against his own skin— messing up Phil’s just washed sheets. “Phil.” He whines, on the edge of pathetic. 

“I know, I know.” Phil whispers, pressing a kiss to his nape as he slowly pulls his fingers out. “You’re all sensitive, poor baby. That was.. really fucking hot, though. You coming from that alone, maybe you should have my job.”  


Dan lets out a grunt, rolls-over onto his back and - for the first time - sees just how wrecked Phil looks. He always forgets they have the same affect on each other— can both ruin each each other just the same. 

“Wanna fuck me?” He asks, spreading his legs— always willing, no matter how overly-sensitive he’s feeling. “Wet patch on your Calvin’s points to yes.”

  
  
“And have you complaining all day tomorrow about how sore your poor little arse is? Na, just suck me off instead, put that pretty mouth to good use.” Phil smiles, leaning in for a kiss that feels like the first, even though the first had happened six months ago. 

-

**@DanielHowell: I _wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone D:_**

[10:05am] Daniel Howell! I love it, especially the very 2009 emoticon

10:07] xD

[10:07am] Oh shutup, I was drunk! I am allowed to be sappy when i’m drunk

[10:09am] Just move in 

[10:11am] What? Really

[10:11am] Yeah, can’t see myself being any less obsessed with you soon.Or ever tbh

[10:15am] Alright, yeah. Fuck. Wasn’t expecting my missing you hours tweet to pay off this well

[10:17am] You're lucky you’re cute. What a ploy 

[10:19am] big brain, I know

[10:21am] I lose sight of the one braincell for ONE night and now I have a live-in boyfriend..

[10:25am] Love you<3

[10:27am] Love you too, pretty boy xD. Now go tell your landlord you said fuck landlord rights. xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [if u wanna reblog on tumblr! or just scream @ me on tumblr<3](https://fictropes.tumblr.com/post/631252654776090624/demon-in-the-sack-complete-now-with-a-chapter-2)
> 
> well there we go..... as always, lemme know your thoguhts<3

**Author's Note:**

> and the most unrealistic fic award goes to ......... Me<3


End file.
